How to Get Over a Break-Up
First…I understand…
I know how it feels to love and be loved for exactly what you are…all your scars and all your brightness too. I know what it is to miss that and feel like there’s nothing left without it.
To lay awake at night and think maybe it would have played out different if this or that.
But you cannot go backwards in life.
There is only now and the future. That’s it.
Let it go. Let them go. Focus your energy on stuff you love doing.
Sometimes, when I’ve struggled to relinquish an ex from my mind (where I can almost see and hear her), I’ll do this visualization:
I’ll imagine a massive, colossal crane that lifts her gently by the back of her shirt, and carries her waaaaay out over the horizon…hundreds of miles away…until she fades into the distant fog.
The crane is gentle with her and she is unharmed. I wish her well and accept the new clear, empty space.
The visualization always brings peace. Life will get better again.
Exercise like crazy for a couple weeks to burn off the excess emotions. Strong exercise will heal you! And sleep a bunch.
Until then, get all your pre-relationship hobbies back.
Playing guitar, running, reading, riding your bike, sleeping in, spontaneous adventures. Enjoy the freedom of having only yourself to please for a while.
Then one day, a few weeks or months from now…you’ll wake up with a new mysterious motivation to expand the new you.
You can choose to be “intentionally single” for 3-6 months (or until you can be really calm flyin solo). Take some time to really get settled and secure in yourself. It will happen if you give it time.
Might be hard to believe…but you may enjoy being single more than being in a relationship!
Also, here’s a harsh reality: You two probably weren’t truly compatible.
When it’s really right…you won’t have to struggle this much.
You don’t have to rush into anything. You have your WHOLE LIFE ahead of you.
You can conserve your energy and heal and recharge. Get clear within yourself.
You make the best decisions when you are totally calm. With clearer, wiser priorities…your confidence will come back.
Then, one day…a more compatible companion will be looking over with sparkly eyes. Someone who genuinely sees how much you care, and wants to sit high on a hill looking over the yellow lights of town saying “isn’t this nice” and really feeling it.
Her face will light up when you call and she will be full of gratitude to have found you.
You are reading this because you have a lot of love to give, because you care, and she will feel that.
She’ll think for hours about what to get you for your birthday and bring you strawberry milkshakes when sad things happen.
There will be someone else for you, but until then you have to take care of yourself.
Let time and sleep and positive hobbies heal you.
Keep your good heart, your loyalty, your protective care. Remember how to be your own companion.
Because the yellow lights of town are just as pretty when you’re on the hill alone.
Here’s a great video about getting over hard times:
I wish you peace and healing, and, when the time is right, a new heart-felt connection.